I need to refer those of you who see this blog and not the other one I contribute to.
Please go REALIZE here
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Most Secret
Taking a page out of my sister's book, I'm going to share some secrets as well. However, I'm not a very private person at all so these may not be a big surprise to anyone.
1. I think I missed my calling in life. I've always wanted to do conservation work. I especially love animals and in particularly sharks and think that it would be really cool to work with and study them. I'm disappointed that not many people in the world worry about keeping them around. Once my kids are grown, I want to find a job that allows me to take care of the earth.
2. I tell myself to shut up all the time. I hate a lot of the things that come out of my mouth.
3. I'm actually glad its my own voice in my head that chastises me though. It used to be someone else's. And that person used to tell me how stupid I was a lot. My own voice doesn't like what I say, but it doesn't call me stupid.
4. I'm afraid of dying. Desperately afraid. Not because I'm worried about the next life as much as I'm afraid for my children if I do.
5. I've always wanted to be a shy person. It feels like shy people act more mature and are respected for that.
6. I still don't know how to feel about my dad. I don't know whether to love him because we're so much alike or be angry with him for not doing more to have a relationship with me.
7. I feel gypped out of my 30's. They were wasted on someone that I don't think I ever truly loved. I cared about him, but I wasn't in love like I had been before with someone else.
8. I get angry sometimes that I wasn't allowed to marry the one person I was truly in love with. But to be honest, I don't know that it would have been the best thing for him. He's happy with his life now and that makes it better for me to have lost him.
9. I would give just about anything to be in my 20's again. Turning 40 scares me to death.
10. I know I'm really smart, but sometimes I worry that I think I'm smarter than I really am. I've learned a lot about my limitations in the past few years. I'm not sure if its because I'm getting older and have had children and its causing a strain on my brain or if I'm just getting wiser as to all of the things I really don't know.
11. I hate that I have a hard time letting some things go. I talk about some things obsessively and I wish I could stop.
12. I feel less sense of purpose when my kids are gone.
1. I think I missed my calling in life. I've always wanted to do conservation work. I especially love animals and in particularly sharks and think that it would be really cool to work with and study them. I'm disappointed that not many people in the world worry about keeping them around. Once my kids are grown, I want to find a job that allows me to take care of the earth.
2. I tell myself to shut up all the time. I hate a lot of the things that come out of my mouth.
3. I'm actually glad its my own voice in my head that chastises me though. It used to be someone else's. And that person used to tell me how stupid I was a lot. My own voice doesn't like what I say, but it doesn't call me stupid.
4. I'm afraid of dying. Desperately afraid. Not because I'm worried about the next life as much as I'm afraid for my children if I do.
5. I've always wanted to be a shy person. It feels like shy people act more mature and are respected for that.
6. I still don't know how to feel about my dad. I don't know whether to love him because we're so much alike or be angry with him for not doing more to have a relationship with me.
7. I feel gypped out of my 30's. They were wasted on someone that I don't think I ever truly loved. I cared about him, but I wasn't in love like I had been before with someone else.
8. I get angry sometimes that I wasn't allowed to marry the one person I was truly in love with. But to be honest, I don't know that it would have been the best thing for him. He's happy with his life now and that makes it better for me to have lost him.
9. I would give just about anything to be in my 20's again. Turning 40 scares me to death.
10. I know I'm really smart, but sometimes I worry that I think I'm smarter than I really am. I've learned a lot about my limitations in the past few years. I'm not sure if its because I'm getting older and have had children and its causing a strain on my brain or if I'm just getting wiser as to all of the things I really don't know.
11. I hate that I have a hard time letting some things go. I talk about some things obsessively and I wish I could stop.
12. I feel less sense of purpose when my kids are gone.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
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