Fortunately, by the time it actually gets to the distributors, its at least a lot more realistic and defendable once it goes through all the review processes. Our marketing people are actually getting pretty good at knowing what is and isn't going to get past us and so the amount of craziness has decreased.
However, sometimes I run across other advertising for dietary supplements that make me realize how freakin' together my company is.
Take for instance this wonderful testimony for a new juice made by a local dietary supplement company:
“I was so impressed that the juice came in bottles. This alone is a symbol of quality!”
—Naomi Stone
So I have to ask:
- What does juice normally come in where you're from?
- How did you receive your juice previously? Did you have to go to the manufacturer and dip your thrice used cup into a bucket to get some? Did you have to suck it out of a pill perhaps? Did it come all dried up in the stained and torn envelope the company sent to you when you ordered it?
- This is a symbol of quality? Really? A symbol?
- Walmart's great products because they are actually in the store.
- My car's great ability to hold gas.
- My own quality of living in a house. The fact that I live in a house and not, say, the grassy field across the street is a symbol of my house's quality.
The worst part of this quote is actually not the quote itself. It's that it's found on the company's website. This means that not only did some doofus say it, but somebody thought that it was a good quote and even further some other webdesigner/IT idiots didn't question it before adding it! (Perhaps they were ignored or maybe they just don't give a flyin' patootie.)
The other scenario is that Naomi actually said something else, but words were removed (or added - cause seriously, symbol?) during the review process and nobody bothered to read the end result. Apparently not even Naomi cause its on the web and she hasn't asked for it to be removed.
Naomi Stone - if you are googling your own name and come across this blog, please for the love of all that is holy ask that this quote be removed from that website! All of the Naomi Stones in the world are being mocked mercilessly for this and they are not amused.
The mini donuts I bought from wal-marts are awesome because they came in a plastic box and not an old man's sweaty hands.
ReplyDeleteIn defense of the web-site designer and speaking from experience, the battle to keep dumb things off web pages is a losing one. You try for the first year or two and then you give up and adopt the motto: "Whatevs."
I stopped buying the milk from the store that comes in an udder, because you can get it in these neat plastic jugs now.
ReplyDeleteYou know those bulk food bins at the grocery store where you used to have to open up your athletic supporter and dump stuff from the bin in it and carry it to the counter to pay for it? There's this high quality store that uses plastic bags now. I like them.
ReplyDeleteIn her defense... maybe she's just referring to those fancy glass bottles that are all the rage for $40+ snake oil juices from MLMs, versus an aluminum can that fabulous inventions like peach Fresca come in.
ReplyDeleteI heart peach fresca.
I agree, Tara, that this could have been what she MEANT, but that is not was she SAID (or what she was quoted as saying). What she said was stupid.
ReplyDeleteBut as I said before, maybe she did say something like that and the editors removed the important bits that made this sound like an intelligent testimonial.
Udders is a funny word.
ReplyDeleteCould you imagine having to kill the cow just to remove the udders so people could have milk! :)
Actually, I think that the fact you live in a house is a testament to YOUR quality, not your house's.
ReplyDeleteDogs can get breast cancer?