Just Can't Get Enough

Yesterday I had the best present I could probably receive for my 40th birthday. I had an opportunity to relive a day from my teenage years.

When I was about 16 years old, I went to my first concert. It was Depeche Mode's Black Celebration tour. Now for those who don't know, Depeche Mode was MY band. If you knew anything about me, it was that I absolutely adored them. I dreamt of them, I plastered my room with posters of them, and sadly as a silly teenager I even had a picture of them next to my bed that I would kiss goodnight.

I went to this concert with one of my close high school friends, Delmar. A series of unfortunate events accompanied this trip to the Park City event. The person who was supposed to drive Del and I there (as my mom and step-dad were on their way to Wyoming with the rest of my family) had the wrong date written down and was a no show when we showed up at her house.

I made the decision to drive us in an unreliable car (actually that described ALL of our cars at the time come to think of it). In my naivete, I filled the car with unleaded when it took leaded. It didn't permanently damage the car, but it did make it die half-way to Park City. We ended up getting it towed the rest of the way and we attended the concert which was incredible.

However, after the concert was done, we were stuck there with few options of getting home. I was supposed to fly out to Denver to visit my dad the next day and my bags were in the trunk of the car in preparation of driving to Salt Lake City to catch a plane.

We ended up getting a hold of the daughter of my next door neighbors and she and her husband came and got us (and my luggage)and took us home. I called my uncle and asked if he would go and take a look at the car (since he's an awesome mechanic). He and his wife and a couple of his kids drove all the way up there where the car magically started up and worked fine.

Unfortunately, they were hit by a drunk driver on the way back and it totaled the car. Since I was not supposed to have taken the car in the first place, I got in a ton of trouble for the whole situation and was grounded for a very long time.

Despite all the problems, I still have good memories of this day and how great the concert was.

Back to the present day, my friend Delmar called me last week and asked if I would be willing to take a trip to the past. He asked if he could take me to the Depeche Mode concert which took place last night. He had box seats and so I reluctantly said yes...by jumping up and down and screaming for joy.

The ride up to Salt Lake this time was not fraught with peril or broken down cars. We didn't have to fight people off of us or put up with second hand pot smoke. Afterwards, the worst part of getting back was waiting to get out of the parking lot. But just the same, during the concert all I had to do was shut my eyes and I was sixteen all over again. I was naive and bright eyed and pure-minded. I had all the hopes and dreams of a life just starting again.

But when I opened my eyes again, I experienced another sensation. One of understanding. I heard the music through a different mind. I understood the meaning behind the words much better - both the joy and happiness as well as the pain and loss that the songwriters had expressed through their lyrics and sound. I realized that the songs I had sung so often I could sing them backwards I had really never understood emotionally. At the time I would have disagreed most heartily at this if someone had been able to point this out to me of course.

It was if the songs were new again to me again while still remaining old and trusted friends. It was a sensation I doubt I'll ever have again in my life.

So thank you Depeche Mode. Thank you for being the ones to help get me through my teenage years. Thank you for providing the soundtrack to that time in my life. And thank you for last night in which I was able, if only for a moment, to reconcile my clean, innocent young mind to my older wiser self and they both benefited from the experience.