And the snowperson's name is......

Fifi!

Tiffany - I swear that I let Belinda choose the name without any persuasion at all to choose that name. :)

I've got to do a couple of modifications to the snowman now that she's a woman. Ha-ha!

For Belinda

I have a friend/co-worker that lives down in Australia. She's never seen snow before in real life. Unfortunately, these pictures won't change that status, but at least she'll get to see it on something other than pretty pictures and movies. I made her a snowman. She gets to name it. I think the lens of the camera got wet so some of these are a little fuzzy. Sorry!

The beginnings of a snowman. I love how my hat is sitting precariously on top of my head. It wouldn't stay on!

You can see a little of the grass underneath. Its still green!

The kids next door came over to help.

All done!

I'm cold.

Here s/he is! Name to be determined!

Belinda, you owe me a sand castle!

For Belinda Part II

Pic #1 - A picture of how deep the snow is.
Pic #2 - My house in winter and a partially made snowman.
Pic #2 - The kids next door playing in the snow. They eventually came over to help build the snowman.
Pic #3 - My partially shoveled driveway and the snow drifts

My first attempt at Audacity - Merry Christmas!!

Enjoy my first attempt at music with Audacity. I'm playing the piano and singing all the parts. Its not perfect by any means....

I've got nothin'

So if you really want to get to know someone please have them take this test:

While shopping at the carnival do you buy:

a. A Whole Lotta Love
2. Little Surrey with the Fringe on the Top
? 3 Men and a Stupid show

K. You've got your stupid update on my blog Tiff. Now leave me alone for another month.

Ahh, Happy Valley. How I love you so.

Can I just exclaim how much I love living in Utah? I love it. I love the mountains and the lake and the sunsets and sunrises. I love the clean air (now that Geneva is gone). I love being able use the words and acronyms "mission", "testimony", "stake", "ward", "RS", "YW" and many others without having to explain what the heck I'm talking about or receiving odd looks because I sound like I'm speaking Martian. But mostly I love living here because our 'police beat' articles tend to look like these:

http://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/62385

Its good to live here.

I know this doesn't count as a real blog entry, but still...

I hate it when kids attack.

If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

I think I laughed up a lung while reading this page: http://www.safenow.org/

Maybe your expectations are a little high

So as we all know, I work for a MLM dietary supplement company. Being in the department that reviews marketing material, I've read some pretty crazy stuff. I've seen claims that ingesting deer antler extract gives you deer-like abilities. I've seen a distributor quote that stated she can "rest in peace" knowing that she takes our products. I've seen a distributor claim that one of our products cured her dog's breast cancer. The list goes on.

Fortunately, by the time it actually gets to the distributors, its at least a lot more realistic and defendable once it goes through all the review processes. Our marketing people are actually getting pretty good at knowing what is and isn't going to get past us and so the amount of craziness has decreased.

However, sometimes I run across other advertising for dietary supplements that make me realize how freakin' together my company is.

Take for instance this wonderful testimony for a new juice made by a local dietary supplement company:

“I was so impressed that the juice came in bottles. This alone is a symbol of quality!”
—Naomi Stone

So I have to ask:

• What does juice normally come in where you're from?
• How did you receive your juice previously? Did you have to go to the manufacturer and dip your thrice used cup into a bucket to get some? Did you have to suck it out of a pill perhaps? Did it come all dried up in the stained and torn envelope the company sent to you when you ordered it?
  
• This is a symbol of quality? Really? A symbol?
  

So here are some things whose quality I have a testimony about:

• Walmart's great products because they are actually in the store.
• My car's great ability to hold gas.
• My own quality of living in a house. The fact that I live in a house and not, say, the grassy field across the street is a symbol of my house's quality.

REALLY?!

The worst part of this quote is actually not the quote itself. It's that it's found on the company's website. This means that not only did some doofus say it, but somebody thought that it was a good quote and even further some other webdesigner/IT idiots didn't question it before adding it! (Perhaps they were ignored or maybe they just don't give a flyin' patootie.)

The other scenario is that Naomi actually said something else, but words were removed (or added - cause seriously, symbol?) during the review process and nobody bothered to read the end result. Apparently not even Naomi cause its on the web and she hasn't asked for it to be removed.

Naomi Stone - if you are googling your own name and come across this blog, please for the love of all that is holy ask that this quote be removed from that website! All of the Naomi Stones in the world are being mocked mercilessly for this and they are not amused.

TV shows I like or want to see....

So I really don't get to watch actual t.v. that much, but I do like to either watch t.v. shows on my ipod (cause I can watch it on the go, while exercising or on my breaks etc) or online (hulu.com is awesome for this). I'm caught up with several of my favorites though and need some suggestions on other things to watch.

Just to let you know, I generally don't watch a t.v. show until the end of the season because then I'm not kept in suspense every week. I hate that. This is probably the same reason that I tend to read the end of the book first. (And Almond, I already know that you hate that about me.) :)

So I'm gonna list what I watch currently and what I've already been told is really good. What I need from you is a list of shows that you love that I can get addicted to as well.

T.V. Shows I watch (or have watched in the past):

• Lost
• The Office
• Supernatural (While it makes me feel like a letch, I have a huge crush on Jared Padalecki)
  
• Dead Zone
• Dexter
• Dead Like Me (I think this got cancelled actually which is a real shame)
• Arrested Development (ditto on the cancelled)
• Whose Line is it Anyway (also cancelled)
  
• Flight of the Conchords
• Extras
• CSI (but not the past couple of seasons - and I don't like the Miami or NY ones as much)
• Law & Order SVU (need to catch up also on the last couple of seasons)
  

T.V. Shows I've seen a little of or have been recommended to me and I want to watch more of (but don't have yet)

• My Name is Earl
• BattleStar Galactica 2003
• Heroes
• Prison Break
• 24
• Pushing Daisies
• The 4400
• FireFly
• Desperate Housewives (I actually use to watch this quite a bit, but not for a long time now)
  

So, any others I'm missing?

This is what I watch when I need to laugh...hard.

Postcard to Joel and Anne

Nuff said.

I miss Arrested Development

I'm not going to put a lot of effort into this post because mostly I'm writing to get my sister off my back who thinks I don't post enough.

However, I do want to lament the disappearance of Arrested Development. I'm sad that because I was in an Ohio shaped cocoon, I never had the opportunity to witness on live T.V. the incredible genius that the writers of this show displayed in every episode. I did not discover it until I escaped and was once again able to see and enjoy humor.

My most favorite character is George Michael. The actor who plays this character (Michael Cera) is perfect at it. It is hard to believe that Michael himself is not actually a mumbling, nervous, high-strung teen-ager because he plays the part so well. His nervous chuckle and his jumpiness at any statement that he perceives might be directed at his taboo desires have my hands at my sides trying to keep them together and help me not die with laughter.

I also love Tobias. Granted he freaks me out a little, but I love how this character is in so much denial about himself and his life - not only sexually but also how others see him, how his professional life is going and how he's doing as a father and husband.

One of my favorite parts of the series is in the first episode of Season 1 after he explains that the homosexuals (that he was mistakenly put on the same boat with) weren't pirates but were actually actors in the local theater. He pauses to look around at the family and states that he's been waiting for the universe to provide a path for him and he now thinks it has. His wife, Lindsay, says "You're gay." (Favorite part is next) - Tobias says "No.....No! I'm not gay. Lindsay, how many times must we have this...No. I want to be an actor." I just love the insinuation that this is a topic that they go over all the time. And his frustration that people keep accusing him of this always cracks me up.

Most of the humor is so subtle that I catch something different each time I watch an episode.

To say these are my favorites in no way means that the rest of the cast is not just as excellent. Each member plays their part so incredibly well, so perfectly that it would be easy to believe that each actor actually had these quirks and dysfunctions in their own lives.

So I grieve that its over. I grieve that I was never able to contribute to the ratings. I grieve that so many people never had or gave this classically humorous piece of art a chance.

What have I been doing the past 10 years????

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?

Living in Dayton, Ohio and preparing to get married. Both thoughts give me the shivers to this day.

2. 5 Things on my To Do List -

Stop global warming
Create a vehicle that runs on water or air
Invent a teleporter
End world hunger
Get some sleep

3. What Snacks do I enjoy?

Reese's pieces
Anne's Italian popcorn

4. What would I do if I were suddenly a billionaire?

Stop global warming
Create a vehicle that runs on water or air
Invent a teleporter
End world hunger
Get some sleep
Buy a house

5. 3 Bad habits

Swearing - done mostly in the car (when there are no kids around) and at work.
Getting distracted and forgetting to complete a task.

6. 6 places I've lived

Switzerland
France
Australia
New York
Utah
Idaho

7. 6 jobs I've had

Mechanic-monkey helper
Autoparts delivery babe
Telephone (dispatch) sexy voice
Telephone (customer service) sexy voice
Super legal whiz regulatory affairs world traveler

8. 5 things most people don't know about me

I don't like toast for dinner at nice restaurants
I've never been to Istanbul
I pine after root beer bottle caps
I really like the shape and color of my eyes
I miss being 25.

Enjoy some pessimism won't you?

I really wish I could work for this company. Their demotivators crack me up and so many of them seem applicable to certain people in my life.

I would encourage you greatly to view these lovely choices as well:
• A personal motto
• This applied to one of my previous jobs
• For the idiots who chase dreams instead of actually taking care of their responsibilities
• And this one applies to them too

So when I'm feeling a little depressed and need to laugh at myself (and others) this site working wonders for me. I really need to order one of everything they have.

Don't Dranght in the Jeck!

Do you guys ever go out to Engrish.com? If you don't, you're missing out.

A few favorites:

• Danger!
• Internet instructions
• battery warning

Warning - Much words on confusing the other people are.

Like a fat kid loves Cake.

My brother Joel introduced me to the band Cake some time ago. Now by saying "introduced" I don't want to imply that I had never heard of them. It would be very difficult to have not heard of them or at least a couple of songs by them since they are fairly ubiquitous.

What I mean by "introduce" is "You need to listen to this song. In fact you should listen to all of their songs. They are quite possibly my favorite group."

This surprised me. What little brain power I ever devoted to Cake had given me the idea that they were "bubblegum" "top-40" and other various derogatory music categories. However, my brother is rarely impressed by those types of bands. So I gave them a try. I had already heard "I Will Survive" (which is probably what gave me the previous impressions I just described) and had decided I liked Gloria's version better.

Joel instead had me listen to "Long Line of Cars." This was a good choice because there is a strong brass accompaniment that is reminiscent of Oingo Boingo. I wasn't hooked, but I liked it. Awhile later I listened to the entire album "Comfort Eagle" and slowly my previous prejudices slipped away.

Now by all accounts, I should not like Cake at all. John McCrea (the band's frontman) doesn't really sing as much as he speaks the lyrics in different tones. There is little to no vibrato or sustain when he sings. It is as big a shock to me as to anyone that I actually like the way he "sings" at all. But I do. I like it alot. After pondering this dichotomy within myself, I've had to conclude that it is because it makes him very accessible as a person. As an audience, we are not in awe of his voice. He is not some high and mighty singer. He's normal - just like us. He gains our trust and we listen to what he has to say because of it.

That leads me to the second reason why I now love Cake. They sing about something else other than sex (love), drugs and rock and roll. I'm not saying that they don't sing about these things at all (or that I don't like songs about these topics - although there are few drugs songs that I enjoy), but merely that they sing about other topics as well. I've always enjoyed bands that use topics that are beyond the norm like "The Trees" from Rush and just about everything on "War" from U2 (back when U2 was considered edgy and not mundane).

The third reason I hinted at earlier. Thank you Cake for having more than guitars, keyboards and drums. Brass sections (when used appropriately) are AWESOME in the rock genre. And full orchestras - same thing. Now granted, there are quite a few other bands/singers that use orchestras, but rarely with a brass section. Its a beautiful thing that brings a tear to my eye every time I hear it.

So if you're not familiar with Cake, please take another listen. I recommend the following:

• Short Skirt/Long Jacket
• Long Line of Cars
• Love You Madly
• Pretty Pink Ribbon
• Stickshifts and Safety Belts
• The Distance
• You Part the Waters
• Mr. Mastodon Farm
• Rock ‘n’ Roll Lifestyle


Yes, I love them like a fat kid...well you know the rest.

Take my job. Please.

So my company has decided that within the next 6 months or so they want to rebrand every single product that we own. This in and of itself is bad enough. However, they also want to either move manufacturers or reformulate all of these products as well. As a side note, when you move to another manufacturer, your formula almost always changes.

So you would think, "Hey it makes sense that since we'll have to relabel everything anyway, let's wait until we have the formula complete and then we'll only have to create and/or change the label once."

However, since this would make sense we are doing exactly the opposite. So for every product in every country that I'm over (quite a few of which do not share labels with the other countries I'm over), I get to create and/or revise their labels twice in this next year. For the labels that are shared, these are only shared because we just got done combining several of them. So they're still looked at twice - don't you worry that they wouldn't be.

This is in addition to reviewing all of the different formulas to make sure that my countries can take them.

Oh did I mention that we're moving products from Australia to a local manufacturer but these products still have to meet AU guidelines in order to be sold there and they have to be re-registered and verified that they can get through customs without any import permit issues?

Oh yeah. We're still creating new products as well. And not easy ones to get into our countries. Difficult ones that require a lot of legal research and follow up.

This is all IN ADDITION to my normal duties and the normal problem solving that I have to do.

So my post picture is exactly how I feel every time I get an email or someone shows up at my cube.

I know what you are all thinking. No really I do. You're thinking:

"WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Suck it up white girl."

I agree.

Grace Kelly part 2

Ok. Every once in awhile a song comes along that becomes the equivalent of musical crack for me. Grace Kelly by Mika is one of them.

I love the reference to "Freddie" since the song itself is so reminiscent of Queen.
I love his high pitched voice during the chorus.
I love the lyrics.

I just love this song.

It reminds me of the first time I ever partook of Lindor chocolate in Switzerland. I realized right there and then that I needed to eat so much of it as to make myself sick so that I couldn't be bound by its tempting deliciousness. This song makes me want to listen to only it for the rest of my life. Fortunately, listening to this song over and over will help me lose weight instead of gaining it.

And by the way, Joel, Lollipop has grown on me as well. I really like that song a lot too (although not in the same "I've gotta to listen to it until I die" sort of way that is my fate with Grace Kelly.)

Please. Someone save me from myself!

Grace Kelly

This is my favorite song of the moment:

Lollipop

Mika - Lollipop lyrics

Tag. I'm it.

So because I have been tagged, it follows that I must produce something tag worthy. I don't feel up to this gigantic task, but I will attempt to produce some 6 or 7 things that most people don't know about me.

1. I collected black and white postcards while I was on my mission in Geneva Switzerland. Most of them were of couples kissing (I don't know why because I wasn't particularly missing this). My favorite was one of an older lady dressed up like a queen and feeding chickens.

2. I wrote a short story when I lived in Ohio about this woman called "Queen of the Chickens." I never finished the story, because she stopped talking to me. It could be that she was upset that she died fairly early in the story. It could also be that I lost quite a bit of my soul, hope and creative desire during this time. I hope to one day finish this story. She bugs me about it every once in awhile. But all she says is "The story's not done." She doesn't tell me what happens next.

3. I told someone once that he has a reputation for not forgiving others. I have regretted this because I have since realized I have this same propensity. I try very hard to forgive and move on, but I don't. If you severely hurt me or mine, I don't forgive. I also realize this does not hurt the person I'm not forgiving. I hope one day to learn how to completely forgive someone even when they continue to be an ass. I hope when I do learn, I can teach others how to do the same.

4. I sometimes say ass. And various other benign swear words. Most of the time, I don't care unless I slip around my kids.

5. I love words that most people have heard before but don't know the meaning of and I like to use them frequently. I download them quite often to my notebook so I can remember them later. And by download, I mean write. My favorite word of the moment is esoteric.

6. I love this picture of me:


7. I love Tom Lehrer and I love to play Masochism Tango on the piano.

Oh and I love Viggo Mortensen. But I don't think that's a unknown fact to most people.

I tag Tiffany and Brandon.